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WWMD? (What Would Mojo Do?)

Dear Mojo,

I never thought I’d be writing to a dog, but whatever, it’s the internet and no one else seems to understand my problem anyway.

Basically, i don’t feel like working anymore – i just want to lie around all day, eating, sleeping, and occasionally licking my **** (Editor: please, this is a family column).

What’s wrong with me?

Mojo: You seem perfectly normal to me.

Dear Mojo,

What should I do when I get the blues?

Mojo: Well, i usually go outside for a walk or to play ball. My favorite thing to do, though, is to go for a ride in the car with the window open. Then i eat a high-protein snack and take a long afternoon nap. When i wake up, i do a few stretches, run around naked, lick some stuff (if you catch my drift), sniff a %#$@ or two (Editor: Mojo, you can’t say that!), and look for something, anything, to hump (Editor: Mojo, really!). I’m pretty much always happy – try it.

Tomorrow’s column:

Dear Mojo,

Are you related to that TV dog?

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