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Archive for July, 2009

Mojo Breaks World Record


2009
07.20

On Saturday, July 18 at 1:31 pm, Mojo was watered down, shampooed, washed, rinsed, dried, and brushed to a fine, white luster… His ears were inspected and washed, and his nails were trimmed. A dab of “eau de perro nuevo” was placed behind each ear to round out the cleaning. A green ribbon was lovingly tied around his neck for complete cuteness (and cheap advertising).

Total cost: $18.37.

Subtracting transit time to drive home to Compound Mojo – at 1:32 p.m., Mojo successfully rendered the washing completely useless. Rolling around in a combination of pure dirt, grass, weeds, dessicated poop, and (alleged dog) urine of untold origin or age, Mojo was able to go back in time to a state prior to being washed. In fact, to a state prior to ever being washed. Digging in various spots of Rancho Mojo ensured the newly trimmed nails would be caked with utter filth.

Total elapsed time: 1 minute.

Hourly cost = $18.37 x 60 = $1,102.20

As if that weren’t enough, rumor has it that passers-by claimed he had a case of “bung-tongue” as well.

Guinness is currently evaluating the elapsed time for a new record, which would replace the existing record, held by “Pig Pen,” allegedly a member of the notorious “Peanut” gang.

Mojo Has Salad With Cesar


2009
07.09

Mojo and Cesar Milan were spotted early this afternoon along the San Antonio Riverwalk having an afternoon snack and talking about old times…

Mojo, also known as “The Human Whisperer,” and Cesar have been friends for many years – long before either entered the public spotlight. Milan often calls Mojo to get his advice or to ask his opinion about a complex human behavioral or psychological phenomenon. Mojo (a.k.a. Dog Psychologist) is always glad to lend a helping paw.

Cesar is in town this week and will be giving a Lecture/Q&A on Saturday hosted by the Bexar County and Comal County Kennel Clubs:

http://www.mysanantonio.com/calendar/Cesar_Millan_at_the_Lila_Cockrell_Theatre.html

Note: ABSOLUTELY NO DOGS ALLOWED!

Mojo Says Goodbye to Jacko


2009
07.07

In a rare public appearance, Mojo turned up at the Michael Jackson memorial service in downtown Los Angeles today…

The otherwise calm crowd immediately went berserk as Mojo was spotted slowly cruising up in his Mustang convertible – the one with the top permanently removed. With his face in the breeze and a bitch on each side of him, he was panting and sniffing the air in true Mojo trademark fashion. The previously morose crowd, was now going absolutely nuts.

Hoping for anything – a picture, an autograph, a scratch, a lick, or simply to bask in the greatness that is Mojo, the throng started chanting “MO-JO, MO-JO, MO-JO…” as they quickly surrounded the vehicle. In no time at all, people began reaching out for Mojo and saying, “Paw” and “Shake Hands.”

Fortunately, in anticipation of Mojo’s arrival, several hundred extra police – and their dogs – were on hand to help usher Mojo into the memorial service.

Following Mojo’s tribute, there was not a dry eye in the house. Mojo looked around, shed one last tear, sniffed, scratched, licked, quietly packed up his bitches, and left the arena. Although he’s a broken coat, Mojo is one smooooth operator.

Mojo bids farewell to MJ